An amazing time with God.

As I'm writing this, I've just had an amazing time with God. No, it was not at church or with friends and I haven't just come back from some amazing Christian conference. No, it was just me and God in my lounge.

I have to confess something. I'm pretty rubbish when it comes to prayer and Bible reading. I can go through months without actually opening my Bible for private Bible reading. Yes, I will read the Bible when preparing for my youth group or preparing to lead worship in church, but that's all. My prayers are usually limited to "Thank you Lord for this day. Amen" and then go to sleep. It's not that I don't want to, but somehow, something is keeping me from spending time with God.

But tonight, I somehow felt it was time to spend time with God. I wasn't planning on it at all. I was just watching TV. I just finished watching an episode of the Great British Menu and was flipping through some channels to see what was on, when I suddenly got the urge to just turn off the TV and open my Bible and read. I have a Bible in a year schedule, which I printed off at the beginning of the year. I think I got stuck at 6 January, so now I'm just picking it up at 1 September. I started with a simple prayer asking God to open my eyes and ears to His Word and help me understand it and then read it. After reading it, I picked up my guitar and started worshipping. I just went through some songs that remind me of who Jesus is and what He's done for me. I then put my guitar down and starting praying. I wasn't praying for anything in particular. I just wanted to thank God for everything He's done for me and ask for the Holy Spirit to fill me. And you know, for the first time in probably years, I really sensed God's presence. I walked around me room praising God, went down on my knees in submission to the King of all kings (something I never do) and lied down on my couch, just enjoying God's presence. After that, I picked up my guitar again and started strumming some random chords and just started to sing the amazing truths about God, how He sent his Son Jesus to die for my sins and rose from the dead. How His peace, that passes all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Jesus. How His grace is enough and that His power is revealed in my weakness.

If it sounds like I'm boasting myself and how spiritual I am, I'm not. I'm boasting about Jesus. I wasn't planning on doing this tonight. If it was up to me, I would have kept on watching TV. I just felt an urge to spend time with God and I'm glad I did. As you've read in my previous blog, I came home from New Wine a bit disappointed, as I haven't felt God there as I hoped. Yes, I know He was there and was at work in me, but I didn't feel Him. I was also reminded that feelings can mislead you. I know for a fact that God loves me and Jesus died on the cross for me. My salvation is completely external from my emotions. It's based on Jesus dying on the cross and His resurrection and my feelings won't change that. But tonight, after spending this time with God, reading the Bible, praying and worshipping, I really feel refreshed.

I've learnt that God does things in his own time. I expected this to happen at New Wine. In my opinion, everything was there to give me an amazing experience of God's love and power. There were loads of people praying for me, but I didn't feel anything. I didn't experience God's presence. But tonight I did. At home, on my own. Just me and God. I think we had a great time together. I'm looking forward to our next appointment. (Just kidding, I'm His child. I don't need an appointment.)