Thursday 22 December 2016

When reality kicks in...

Two weeks ago I returned from my 3 month stint with OM Ships in Florence, USA. I had an amazing time, learned loads about serving and mission, made friends for life and had the opportunity to do and experience things I wouldn't have if I hadn't gone there. But as time moves on and Florence is feels more and more like a distant memory, doubts start to rise within me.

Ever since I came back from Florence, my priority has been on finding a job as soon as possible. So far, I've applied for 8 different jobs and have been rejected for 7. I applied for number 8 this afternoon, so I'm waiting to hear back from them. My fear is that the longer it takes to find a job, the more difficult it will become, and as my money is slowly but steadily running out,  I'm afraid that I will end up in the same situation as a few years ago, when I couldn't pay my bills anymore, stopped answering phone calls because I knew they were from debt collectors trying to get their money, when I was a bitter person who felt sorry for himself and was convinced that the whole world was scheming against me, when I actually believed that God didn't care about me; that my prayers ended up on a pile labelled: 'stuff I'll get to when I have nothing else to do', when my only sources of happiness were food and pornography. With God's help and with help of great friends, I've come a long way since then and I'm desperate not to become that person again. But there's a real fear that that may happen.

When I decided to come to Florence, I had to give up my job without a guarantee that I would get it back when I returned. Now I'm back, it turns out that there is no place for me anymore. And as the weeks go by and rejections continue coming in, I start to wonder whether it was a mistake to leave a secure and well paid job to volunteer with OM Ships Florence. At the time it felt like it was the right thing to do. I felt trapped in my job, which although secure and well paid, didn't get my anywhere and I felt that I would probably be trapped in that job for the rest of my life. From April 2015 when I first got in touch with OM in The Netherlands, I felt that I was finally on to something. When a few months later, I decided to accept the offer to serve in Florence, everything went so smoothly. During one of my devotion times, when I was praying for God's guidance, He gave me what I believed to be a clear sign to go. This was further confirmed by, when I informed my church and others about it, everybody was really positive and encouraging about it, and financial support from the most surprising places came flooding in. I was really convinced that OM Ships Florence was the place where God wanted me to go. I guess one of the mistakes I've made is that instead of letting God do his work, I started to project my own ideas on what His plans might be. Why is sending me all the way to the US? I knew the work I was going to do there wasn't going to be very exciting, so it can't be that. One of the things I was hoping for that perhaps I would meet my future wife there. I know this is just silly, as OM's Social Policy doesn't even allow me to start a romantic relationship while I'm in my first year of service with them, but hey, I could still be friends with them and maybe after I go back to The Netherlands, we can keep in touch, develop our friendship further and maybe it will lead to something more special. And I have to admit that I have met one lovely godly young woman that I would love to develop a deeper friendship with, in the hope that a romantic relationship would be possible, but I didn't get any signs that this was mutual. OK, maybe that was because I didn't really made it obvious that she had my attention. Also, I'm very bad at reading these sort of signs. I know, I'm still a wuss when it comes to that. I was so afraid that she would freak out so I thought it would be safer not to let her know. But okay, I'm getting off track now.

Anyways, what did happen during my time in Florence was that I felt a strong calling to the ship, the Logos Hope. This was surprising as the ship was just about the only OM field I didn't want to go to. I didn't like the idea of living in a limited space with 400 others, with nowhere to go when you need some time out, for 2 years. But as I was working in a place that is all about the ship, and working with people who have served on the ship, I felt God was changing my heart and made me willing to join the ship. Earlier this week, I had a good chat with my OM Netherlands contacts and we are now getting the process started that will hopefully lead me to the ship either in September 2017 or February 2018. But that is still 9 months away from now and I need to get a job to pay my bills. And the longer it takes to get a job, I fear that I will fall back in bad and destructive habits of eating too much and watching porn again. I know that the only thing I can do to prevent this is to stay close to God. One thing that I have learned during my previous time of unemployment, and my struggles with pornography and other sinful behaviour was that I had to turn to God to deal with my sins. I have always felt that I had to deal with my sins first, before I was good enough to turn to God, but now I've learned that without God, I didn't have a hope in the world to deal with my sins. And now, more than ever, I need to stay close to God, if I don't want to fall back into that lifestyle again. Florence was a great time. I came home feeling positive about my chances on the job market. I was excited to work towards going on the ship. I feel spiritually energised and I feel I've grown in my faith and relationship with God. I'm much more intentional about my relationship with God, and enjoy spending time with Him. But through all this, I feel the need to work, to do something useful and to earn my living. God created us for work. Work is a blessing of creation (if you don't believe me, go and read the creation account in Genesis and you'll see that God told Adam to work, and that was before the fall). So sitting at home looking for work gives me a feeling of emptiness. So my prayer is that God will open up doors for me to work. Will you pray with me?

Tuesday 25 October 2016

The halfway mark - Looking ahead

As I've now passed the halfway mark of my time with OM Ships in Florence, it's time to look ahead beyond 5 December, when I will leave Florence to return to Eindhoven again. For a couple of weeks now, I've been thinking and praying about my future. Before I came here, I had a very strong sense that God wanted me to go to Florence and serve with OM Ships here. I also feel that serving here with OM Ships is just one step in God's plan for me and that there is more to come. But why? Why did God sent me this small city with 37000 people on the other side of the Atlantic to sort, pack and box books, and to teach English for 3 months? Why did He close the door to the UK? I was very excited about serving with OM Lifehope. The work I would have been doing there certainly sounded much more exciting than Florence.

As I've been thinking and praying about this, I was reminded of my first interview at a small office in Amersfoort with two people from OM. One of the questions they asked me was if I had a specific field in mind. My response was something like: Not really, I'm happy to go where you think I could be useful. The only place I do not want to go is the ship. I'm a very private person and need my own space. Spending two years or even just 3 months with 400 others in a limited space and having to share a cabin with 3 others was something that did not appeal to me at all, despite the amazing stories I've heard about serving on the Logos Hope. Absolutely no way!

Well, after my plans to serve with OM Lifehope fell through, OM Netherlands sent an e-mail around asking whether anyone would like to have me serving with them. As far as I know, OM Ships Florence were the only one who responded positively and after God made it abundantly clear to me that I should go there, I reluctanty accepted the offer and now I'm here. I think you can probably guess by now where I'm going, right? Could it be that the reason God closed the door to OM Lifehope and made sure the only place that would have me was OM Ships Florence, was to put me in a place where I am surrounded by people who have served on the ship so I could hear their stories and their experiences, in order to change my heart and bring me to the one place I did not want to go? The Logos Hope?

The only way to find out, as I've learned from how I got here, is to make the first step. So when I get back home, I will contact OM Netherlands again to talk about my options of serving with the ship. Being 38 years old now, I'm at the upper end of the age range to be considered for a 2 year commitment, so perhaps this is the time for me to go. Who knows? I will continue praying for it. Will you pray with me?

Thursday 13 October 2016

Hurricane Matthew and Go Cocks!

Last week hurricane Matthew honoured the south east of the US with a visit and it made sure its visit did not go unnoticed. Matthew arrived in South Carolina early Saturday morning. The first thing I noticed about the hurricane was on Friday evening. A few of us planned to drive to Columbia that evening to spend the weekend there to see the University of South Carolina Gamecocks Football team play the University of Georgia Bulldogs. Two friends from our Thursday evening bible study kindly treated us to this weekend. Unfortunately, as the weather worsened, we decided to call the weekend off and see if we could go to Columbia on Sunday for the match. Instead of driving to Columbia, we were invited to our friend's parents' house for an evening of games. Early Saturday morning, the internet stopped working and our carpark was flooded. By Saturday afternoon, the electricity went down. In the US, more so than in Europe, there is not much you can do without electricity. There was a plan for a movie night at the OM office, but as there was no electricity, we had to come up with other plans. That's how we ended up at one of the OM staff members' flat with whatever food we had managed to prepare before the power went down. We had a lovely evening. One of the positive things that often happens in crisis situations is that it brings people together. It has something special to spend the evening together with no other light source than a few battery powered torches. As most of the churches we usually go to had cancelled their services this Sunday, we had a plan to meet up at the OM office to have a time of worship, reading the Bible and prayer.  And in case the small congregation that normally meets at the OM office on Sundays, we would join them.

Sunday turned out to be a beautiful day weather wise. At 9.30 we gathered at the OM office where the Community Bible Fellowship happened to be meeting, so we joined them for their service. Apart from the OM'ers, there were 2 members of their congregation present, one of whom is also an OM'er. I have to say that I really enjoyed that service. I'm used to church services with 150-200 people with band led worship and to be in a small meeting room with just 15 people was kind of special. Instead of singing the latest worship songs projected on a screen, we sang hymns from a hymn book. It was refreshing and enriching to sing these theologically rich songs that have been written centuries ago. It was encouraging to share Bible verses with each other. It was just really good to have this kind of fellowship with each other.

As the weather was good, we were picked up by our friend to go to Columbia for the football game. Now, if you have never been to a Football game in the US, I can tell it's a happening. Even though it was a college match and not NFL, it beats the hell out of most top tier football matches in Europe. Even though the players are amateurs and students at their universities, they are treated with the same celebrity treatment as Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. The 80,000 seater stadium was fully sold out. The only reason there were empty places was that the game, which was originally scheduled for Saturday was rescheduled to Sunday due to hurricane Matthew and not everybody was able to make it on Sunday. The pre-game entertainment is as extravagant as you can imagine. A marching band is marching from a nearby field to the stadium and pretty much fills up a complete section. This visiting team comes with multiple buses with players, coaching staff, medical staff and even their cheerleaders. I would almost say these college teams work with budgets top tier Dutch professional football teams can only dream of. Anyways, the match. I don't know much about American Football. It's something to do with downs and offence and defence. Touchdowns, and that sort of things. Usually when I go somewhere there is some minor thing I forget to bring, which would prove to be very important later on. This time it was either sunglasses or a hat. As the sun was shining pretty much straight into my face, I saw hardly anything of the game. As I didn't understand much of the game anyways, that wasn't really a problem. The experience itself made it all worth it. In the end, Georgia won the game.

After the game, it was time to find a place to eat. We decided on a Japanese steakhouse. The first steakhouse we went to was fully booked with a waiting time of an hour, so we went to the next one. Here, we were promptly seated around a cooking station and ordered our drinks and food. I went for the filet mignon and chicken combination plate, including soup, shrimp appetiser, fried rice, veggies and a sherbet dessert. To increase the entertainment value, our friend told the chef at our table that one of the girls in our group had her birthday that day. Although she tried to convince the chef otherwise, she soon gave up and just enjoyed the experience. It was a great and fun meal. The chef did a great job entertaining us and the food was delicious.

Throughout the day, we kept in touch with Florence for updates on the situation there. We were told that if the electricity was not restored by Monday morning, we couldn't go to work. As we still had our hotel booking, we decided to check in and spend the night there. If the electricity was still down the next day, we would spend the day in Columbia as we planned to do on Saturday. If it was back up again, we would drive back to Florence the next day and go to work as usual. Our friend brought some games, so once we checked in to our room, it was time for a game of Catan. It was a hard fought game and we had loads of fun playing it. By the time we finished the game, it had gone past midnight. At this time, we received news from Florence. The electricity was back up again at the OM Ministry Centre, which meant we had to go to work the next day. At this point, we briefly considered to check out and drive back to Florence again, but soon decided to stay and leave early next morning. We went to bed, the girls in the bedroom and the guys in the living room on the couch and the floor, slightly disappointed as we were looking forward to spending the day in Columbia. The next morning, we woke up at 6.20, had breakfast and were ready to head to Florence by 7 am. Before we left, I made a quick phone call to make a final check, and a last hope of being able to stay in Columbia. It confirmed that the power had indeed been restored in our part of Florence and with that knowledge, we headed back to Florence for just another day at work.

This Sunday in Columbia was probably the best day I had so far. It was not just the football game, but it was a great time together and we had the chance to get to know each other better. Although we had great days out in the weeks before, this was the first time we had the chance to sit down around a table, playing games and eating together and talk with each other. I really feel I made new friends this day and we are already planning future trips. I'm looking forward to them already!

Wednesday 14 September 2016

I'm in the USA - The first days

As I've been in the USA for 4 days now, I thought it's time that I share some of my experiences with you. I arrived last Thursday after travelling for about 27 hours. The flight was actually not too bad. In fact, I was positively surprised by the legroom I had during my flight from London to Charlotte. The only bit of the journey I didn't enjoy was the last leg from Charlotte to Florence. It was in a small propellor plane and it was very hot inside. What made it worse was that before the flight, the staff made an announcement that the plane needed to be refuelled before we could board the plane. The fuel car came, stood there for 20 minutes and then left without having done anything. I thought that they were going to get another fuel car, but instead we were told the plane was now ready for boarding. Now, I may be overreacting here, but when you say the plane needs refuelling and no fuel goes into the plane, I get a little bit worried. I boarded the plane anyways, hoping that there would be a dial in the cockpit to let the pilot know whether there was enough fuel there. Nothing happened and the plane took off. Apart from the heat, the flight was fine..... until we were approaching Florence. The engine suddenly seemed to lose power and the plane lost speed and altitude. And I was sitting there thinking: Oh no, we're going to crash! I'm going to die! Seriously, I have rarely been this scared. Fortunately, it turned out that this is just how these type of planes land. When I had collected my suitcase, I was picked up by a lady from the OM staff who first took me to a drive through to get me some food. It was good she was there to help me order, because I have no idea what they said. With the salad for example, I picked blue cheese, not because it's my favourite but simply because that was the only one I could understand. I was dropped off at my apartment where I settled myself down and had my dinner before going to bed. Although I was completely shattered, I still woke up just after midnight, which was annoying because I didn't have to be at the office before lunchtime the next day. So I tried, not very successfully, to get back to sleep. This wasn't easy, as I completely misunderstood how the airconditioning worked. I only found out in the morning that dial on the airconditioning is not to regulate how fast the airconditioning is blowing, but what I want the temperature to be.

So, Friday was my first full day in Florence. I had the morning off and went to the office at lunchtime to join the team for lunch and for orientation. I was shown around the building, introduced to the other STEP'ers (that's how the short-termers are called here), and reminded of some of the rules within OM. I then had to do a quick driving test, so I could use the OM cars when I need one (which is pretty much everytime I need to go anywhere, apart from going to OM. In the evening, I joined the other STEP'ers for dinner at a place called Cook Out, where they have burgers and milkshakes in all sorts of weird flavours like peanut butter-banana. We had a really good time there. The burger was okay and my milkshake (cheesecake flavour) was decent. Afterwards, we took a short detour to downtown Florence to see what that was like. Then it was time to go back home and to bed, because the next day would be a busy day.

Saturday morning, at 7 am we left to go to Carowinds, a theme park on the border of North and South Carolina. Yes, it's located in both states and as a result, to ticket fee includes VAT for both North Carolina and South Carolina. This was also the first time I got introduced to some genuine Southern food. On the way to Carowinds, we had breakfast at Bojangles. I had a cajun chicken fillet biscuit. The biscuit is actually not a biscuit but more a scone, but without the jam and cream. I like it! Once we are at the park, we went straight for the big one: Fury 325. Depending on what definition you use for a rollercoaster, this is the tallest, third tallest or 4th tallest collercoaster in the world. To clarify, it is the tallest rollercoaster in the world that has a chain lift hill and runs a complete circuit. Two others are higher, but don't have a chain lift hill but instead or launched and another one is higher but doesn't run a closed circuit. Anyways, with it's 325 ft (or 99 m in SI units) it's properly high. And it's really good fun. The plan was to go on all rollercoasters in the park, and I would have done it if I didn't get sick on one of the rollercoasters we did. I think it was the third one and it was so bad that I had to skip the next 4. The rollercoaster in question was Nighthawk. In this rollercoaster, the seat is tilted backwards, so you lie flat in your back. Then the train is lifted backwards to the top of the hill where the train flips over so you are literally hanging off your seat facing downwards, as if you're flying. Because at several you switch from the hanging off your seat position to lying on your back position and back again, it was very disorientating and I will never go on that one again. Apart from that, we had a great day and it was good to spend time with the other STEP'ers. On our way home, we had dinner at another Southern culinary landmark: Waffle House. It was here that I tried grits for the first time. I didn't like it. The rest of my meal (which was actually a breakfast) was good, especially the waffle.

On Sunday, we went to Church (of course). I went with 3 others to a church called The Church at Sandhurst. It was a good service. The preacher was good and he preached on the importance of relationships for Christians. After church, we went to an all you an eat Chinese place, which here is a bargain. For less than $7 you can go on and stuff your face. In The Netherlands, you have to pay around 25 euros and you only have 2 hours. However, we couldn't really stuff our faces, because we were also invited by our team leader to come to his house for ice cream.

Monday was my first proper day at work. The day starts at 8.30 AM with a prayer meeting and we start working at 9 AM. I'm working in the sorting area. Here the books come in from publishers across the country. These are usually books that haven't been sold. When they come in, a couple of people will sort the books according to the last digit of the ISBN number. Other people will then take the books and sort them by title and then there are people who put them in boxes and label them. That's what I do. Yes, it's pretty much the same job I did for more than 4 years back home. They probably read my application form and must have thought that with my experience, I was the best person for it. Later on, someone will take these boxes and put them in the warehouse and entered into the system so people can order them. We work till 5 PM with an hour long lunch break at 12. After work I invited the other STEP'ers to come over for dinner before heading to the cinema to see Pete's Dragon.

Work on Tuesday was the same as on Monday. During lunch break, we celebrated all the August and September birthdays, which unfortunately includes mine as well. There was a live Skype link with Hans van Baaren, the director of the Florence base, who is currently home in The Netherlands. After work, I went to the gym for some excercise. You may be surprised, but going to the gym is pretty much the only choice you have if you want some excercise. Going for a walk or cycling here is pretty much suicide here. Anyways, it was nice to work out a bit.

Well, that's all for now. Anyways, I almost have to go to work again.



 

Friday 29 April 2016

Dinner at Wynwood Eindhoven

Yesterday I had dinner at Wynwood, a restaurant in Strijp-S area in Eindhoven, with the Social Dining Group I joined a few months ago. I've heard great reviews about it and they have been mentioned as a candidate for a Michelin star, despite being in business for less than a year. So this was a place I have wanted to try for a while now.

When I arrived, there were already 2 others there. We were shown to our table at the back of the restaurant. On the table next to us, there was a somewhat interesting company of one guy accompanied by a group of attractive young ladies, while near our table the new Maserati Quattroporte was on display, while outside a group of people were re-enacting a scene from some Quentin Tarantino film. While we were waiting for the others to arrive, we started with some drinks. When we were all their, a waitress explained the menu to us. They were serving a surprise menu and we could choose between 3 to 9 courses. As the dishes would be small, we were recommend to take more than the minimum of 3 courses. Most of us, including myself, went for 5 courses while 2 of us went for 4 courses. With that settled, it was time to enjoy the dinner.

We started with 2 amuses from the house. One was a mousse of asparagus with herring caviar and mini shrimps. The other amuse was a cracker of Parmesan cheese. I might have eaten it in the wrong order by taking the cracker first, which was so salty that my taste buds were numbed and I didn't really taste anything when I had the asparagus mousse.
After the amuses, it was time for the first course. Before I start, I have to admit that the dishes were quite complex, as one would expect from an establishment at this standard, so I can't guarantee that I've remembered everything correctly when I'm describing the dishes, so I apologise for that in advance. Having said that, let's go.

The first course was tuna in two ways, raw and seared, with different textures of cucumber, a marshmallow of Tom Kha Kai and a courgette flower. Normally, I don't like fish and this is the reason I always go for the surprise menu when I have the chance. Let me explain. I don't like fish because I can't cook it properly. When I cook fish it tastes horribly, and based on that experience, I would never order fish from a menu. But I also know from experience that fish, when cooked properly and able chef, is absolutely delicious. So, when I go for the surprise menu, I can just sit back and enjoy whatever the chef comes up with and so far, it's always been good. The tuna pieces were coated in some crispy stuff, which gave it a nice combination of textures. The different textures of cucumber added a refreshing note to the dish, making it a pleasant combination. A good start to our dinner, I would say.

The second course was a soup of king prawn, with a king prawn dumpling and fennel. Although still nice, I have to say that this was my least favourite dish of the evening. The soup was too strong for my taste and the fennel, which I assume was there to balance it, didn't have the chance to do it's job. The soup was just too overpowering.

The third course was only served to those who had the 5 course option. This was a leg of quail with asparagus and some other interesting stuff which I can't remember now. There were some dots of green stuff and white stuff. Yeah, I know I will need some more practice before I can make a living out of being a restaurant critic. I should probably start paying more attention when the waitress is explaining the dish. But I did remember the most important thing. It was very nice.

At the fourth course, the people who chose the 4 course menu were back in again. This was black grouse with asparagus (yes, it's asparagus season here), a crisp of grouse with red wine sauce and again some interesting blobs on the plate that I don't remember what it is anymore. Once again, it was very tasty. I liked the crispy stuff. I never had grouse before. I looked it up on the internet and it looks like a sort of chicken. I like it very much.

The fifth and final course was the dessert. For me, desserts are the highlight of any dinner. It was various preparations of honey and lime, with several textures of ginger and white chocolate. It was very nice. Normally, when I have dessert at home, it's sweet on sweet, so not very exciting. Here we had the sweet of the honey and white chocolate, with a tanginess of the lime and a slight heat of the ginger, which was an interesting and very nice combination.

With the dessert done, it was the end of our dinner. After a cup of coffee or tea, it was time to say goodbye and to go home. I really enjoyed this evening. The food was delicious and the company was great. The restaurant, although the food was of a very high standard, was very accessible. There's a certain buzz which you wouldn't find in more traditional fine dining establishments. At Wynwood, nobody would blink an eye if you came to dinner in jeans and shirt. What I also liked was the open kitchen, on which I had a good view. It was nice to see how the kitchen was working. It's kind of reassuring to know that your food is actually prepared freshly and not microwaved. All in all, it was a great evening and I can definitely recommend it to everybody. And the prices are very reasonable too. You pay 9 euros per course. In total, I paid 60 euros including drinks, which I think is reasonable at this level.

So, that's it and I'm already looking forward to the next dinner.