Today was kind of a big day for me. I had my second interview with OM Netherlands since I returned from Florence 3 months ago now, to talk about serving for a longer term with OM. While I was in Florence, I felt God's call to serve Him on the Logos Hope, and contacted OM Netherlands to talk about my options.
During my first interview December last year, we talked about my experiences in Florence, and the way it helped me to grow as a Christian. From there, we set the whole process in motion, and now I'm here. Before I share the outcome of today's interview, let's go back one month. As part of the application process, all candidates for long term missions are required to do a psychological assessment, and I had to do mine last month. The recommendation from that assessment was that although I had grown spiritually and emotionally during the last year and during my time in Florence, she believed that the Logos Hope may not be the right place for me and that a land based mission field would be more suitable. I would struggle to cope with the lack of privacy and board the ship, and living with 400+ people in a limited space would be very challenging for an introvert like I am. She believed a mission field on land with a strong supportive community would be more appropriate. Secretly, I was relieved to hear this, as these were the very reasons that I was initially unwilling to serve on the Logos Hope. I was also happy to hear that unlike last time, she saw the potential for me to go into the mission field. Secretly, I was hoping that maybe this time OM Lifehope would be back on the map again, or maybe even a return to Florence in some capacity. I had an amazing time there and I would love to serve there for a longer period. So with these things in mind, I went to the interview at the OM Netherlands HQ in Emmeloord.
It was my first time at the HQ. My previous interviews had been in their second office, first in Amersfoort and the last one in Hilversum. A nice touch this time was that I was welcomed with a personal message on the electronic notice board. The interview was with my long term contact and someone from OM's member care team, who will be my OM Netherlands support person while I'm in the field. We talked about my application, the references people have given about me and the psychological assessment. Where I was secretly hoping that the ship was off the radar now and hoping to be sent to either OM Lifehope or back to Florence, that was not what they had in mind for me. I would have loved to go back to Florence, but this would of course be a soft option. It would be too comfortable to go back to a place where I already know the people, have made friends and where I'm not required to really engage in frontline mission. In Florence, I would likely be in a supporting role, something that I'm quite happy to do and am quite comfortable with. But comfortable is rarely what we need to grow, and God's plan for my life is obviously not for me to hang around in my comfort zone, but to be challenged and learn and grow. Well, I guess OM Netherlands have found something that will really challenge me.
First, the ship is still very much on the radar and the idea is that I will eventually end up on the ship. But OM also believes that it would be good for me to receive some extra training in preparation for my time in board. So there proposal for me to consider and pray about is that before boarding the Logos Hope I would participate in OM South Africa's Mission Discipleship Training (MDT) for 5.5 months, before joining the Logos Hope for 18 months. The MDT is a programme specifically designed to train, prepare and equip people for the mission field. It involves living in a cross-cultural community, theological training, practical work and outreaches. I've read the information about the programme and the first impression I got was: Flipping heck! This is intensive! Compared to Florence, the regime at the MDT is much stricter. In Florence, I was relatively free in what I could do in my free time, of course within reasonable limits and as long as I didn't do anything that would put OM and its witness in a bad light. I could go to whatever church I wanted to go to, I was free to leave Florence and visit other places if I wanted to, etc. In South Africa, I don't think that will be the case. It seems to be very disciplined there. I won't be allowed to leave the base on my own. I only have 4 weekends off during my time there and one week's holiday. There are fairly strict dress codes for outreaches and church visits and of course OM's social policy is strictly enforced. I know these rules are there to keep me safe and to help me focus on being a missionary, but it all sounds a bit overwhelming to me. But then, these are common rules in the mission field and the rules on board the Logos Hope are not much less strict, probably even stricter than at the MDT.
So, there you have it. It's a lot to think and pray about. Do I really want this? It would mean giving up my comfortable life as I know it and exchange it for at least 2 years in the mission field, without having a place to come back to. I could easily carry on with my life here in Eindhoven, staying at my church and at my job and if I decided to do that, I believe God can use me here as well, but it wouldn't really challenge me. Moving to South Africa and taking part in the MDT will take me way out of my comfort zone and will really challenge me in many aspects. And although I will give it some time, in my heart I have already made a decision and it is still the same as when I felt God's call to the Logos Hope. As long as God keeps on opening doors for me, I will walk through them until I come to a closed door. So, as it stands now, I will go and face the challenge. We've agreed that a September start would be too early in terms of raising support and preparations, so we decided that if I decide to do this and if I'm accepted, I will start in February 2018 with the MDT in South Africa and board the Logos Hope with the September 2018 intake. As always, I would greatly appreciate your prayers in this time of discernment.
